What a girl wants

What a girl wants..

We always hear things like how girls are always thinking too much, trying to make simple things complicated, how we don't mean what we say and the list goes on and on.

But truth is, when we eventually grow up, we just stop wanting things.

We just want things to be well, simple.

When we were young, we post up wish-lists of what we want for our birthdays: wants on the side of our blogs always include "new bag, new ipod, new phone" etc - They're all materialistic wants. When we grow up, we start to want things like "a stable r/s, things to never change and stay the way they are" etc. We want things that are not as material.

Most of the time, we just want someone to be by our side. & for our friends to never leave, for things to never change.

But guess what? Change is the only constant. Cliche, but nonetheless true.

All these years, I've made many friends - from primary school, to secondary school, JC, Poly, Local Uni and now here in an overseas uni. We always have our fun times during the different stages in our lives, and we will always have a group of people whom we're close to during that particular time in life. Like how I was close to a little girl in primary school, and as we moved up to secondary schools, I had my own cliques in class as well as in my CCAs. Then, we tend to forget these people who used to be important in our lives, and when we realize, it'll be too late. They have their own friends who went through thick and thin with them, they have their really close cliques now, some even have a boy or girlfriend whom they spend every moment of their lives with.

Everyone and everything change, and we'll always start to reminisce only when we look back once in a while to realize how much we've missed everything.

Which was why, I was so touched when I see my group of primary school friends turning up for my 21st birthday party last year. Proved my decision to plan a party to be a good and wise one. Though we're no longer as tight as before, memory stays. And they'll never change. There never was once a moment of awkwardness, and we kept joking about how stupid and silly we were in primary school. Boy, that was 10 years ago. From the way we remember these silly antics down to the very minimal details, goes to show how much they occupy in our minds and hearts.

Then we meet more people, who proves to us along the way how their true self is like. We always need to go through such phases in life to learn more, and we'll emerge as stronger people. Sometimes we'll look back and think about what happened to all the "good 'ol times", where everyone's just so happy being together, and then returning to reality where backstabbers and two-faced bitches REALLY exist in this world.

Then there're those who managed to stay in our lives, and never choose to leave, and these are those who're worth keeping. They've seen the ugly side of you, and they don't mind whether you look hideous while crying, or any of your bad shopping habits.

There're also those who left and came again, and I'm glad they did, because I've now learnt to treasure these girls more than ever. We're now even more tight than before, even though we're miles apart in this world.

Then there's the person you want to live with all your life. He was initially just a huge crush, you smile to yourself when he texts you, you dream about him even while sleeping, and all you think of is him. Then you guys finally get together, the honeymoon period starts. You travel to all sorts of places together, and you think you can't live without him. You grow fat together because most of the time, you guys meet to eat, catch a movie, or hang around shopping malls. But you don't mind the fat tummy or the flabby arms that your partner has. You love to squeeze it and make fun of him or her instead, when you initially dreamt of being together with someone as charming Brad Pitt. But dreams are only dreams. Your heart always skips a beat when he says those sweet touching words, and you cry because of him too. Sometimes you get so annoyed with him you want to give him a huge punch in the face so that he'll go to school with a panda eye. But when you think of what he's done for you, you just simply give in.

Then the fights or quarrels get so often or huge, you're so tired of giving in. You know that you will, eventually, but you just don't want to do it. You want him to do something to make you feel... special. You want him to go the extra mile for you just to prove that "you're worth it". Everyone wants to feel special. But when he just doesn't catch the ball simply because he's too blur, you gave in again because you really want to talk to him again.

But when it goes on and on, you simply get tired, and just want to be left alone. Away from him, just doing things you like. Because, "I deserve it" and "I need to be happy". "I don't have to always be crying or be upset because of him, the one person, I have the rights to smile too". You really hope that he'll give you a few days off to clear your mind, to cool down and to do things that you have to do. And all these while, you're still hoping that he'll do something to make you feel special other than all the "sorry"s and "i love you, forgive me?".

But the more you expect, the more disappointed you'll become.. Till you come to a point where you realize, that while you're expecting people to do this and that for you, why not make the first move and the effort to try doing something else for the person you love?

Do you also realize, that when we were young, we tend to neglect our family a lot? We always place our friends as our first priority. Look, we can spend all day thinking of what to get for a friend's birthday, plan a surprise birthday celebration for their 18th birthday but ended up forgetting when's our parents' birthday? We'll usually just settle for a dinner outside, and that's it. I bet some of you don't even go and find a present for your mom or dad, or know what their favourite colors are. All in all, don't forget your family. I used to hate my family a lot, and the first time I ever hugged my dad after I grew up was when I was leaving Singapore for Melbourne. I thought my dad hated me for being the most troublesome kid in the family, wanting to come overseas when I already made it into a local uni, and all the jazz. When I saw him tearing while I was leaving, I couldn't bear to leave this old man behind. There he was, standing at the gates, tearing. I could hardly see his small eyes, and as I was about to enter the gates, I turned around, ran to him and gave him a big hug and asking him to take good care of himself. My dad is different, he loves to cry. But that makes him special (and now I know who I get my unusually sensitive tear glands from). I miss him a lot now, and I'm gonna study hard to make him feel better.

I have the craziest mom on Earth too. She likes to try on different dresses, and come up to where I'm working (on SIX&TWELVE) to ask me if she looks good in them. Then she'll try them again for a few times before she decides what to wear for her dinner at night. & this usually happens for thrice a week. She also loves taking photos of herself using her phone, develop them out and show them to us, saying "Eh see your mom so pretty ley, aiyo!". (& yes nowI know who I got that bit of narcism from too). My mom is so cute, she can go to Takashimaya every Friday without fail and I always wonder what she can buy from there. Do they stock up every Friday for their new arrivals? My mom used to hate dogs, but she love all 5 of them at my home now. One bad thing about her is that she REALLY loves to nag, but the way she nags is damn hilarious and I miss it now. She just got a phone that she can play a really silly game in, and she'll always play that while in the car with my dad. Until one day my dad can't stand it and asks "Who taught her how to play this game huh! Now she ignore me everyday!". I love how cute my parents are.

I have the best sister on Earth too. She's always my buddy for lots of things - be it cutting our hair (yes we have the same hairstylist for 7 years), shopping, finding food, or simply just driving to Parkway to get Koi, she's like my best friend at home. I love talking to her, and everytime we do, we'll end up laughing like mad. Every Sunday, I'll see her at the corner of the sofa in the living room watching the HK drama that's on repeat (I wonder what's showing in SG now), and I'll join her for the next few hours. We'll laugh together and when the show ends, either one of us will ask "Want to go parkway"? We'll procrastinate for a long time, and both will be too lazy to drive. But I love my sister, even though I don't tell her that. She's too lovable to not love her.

My brother, although the youngest, is the most pampered of us all. I used to be jealous of him ,probably 'cos he's the youngest of us all, and a boy at that. But after all these years, I've come to realise that "hey, I only have a younger brother, and he's gonna be my younger brother all his life."

So if you're at odds with your sibilings, why not try talking to them?

It's really simple what a girl, or rather... woman, wants. All she wants is for her loved ones to be happy, for her friends to always remain like how they are and don't ever change, and to feel special just once in a while.

All she wants is to love, and feel loved.

Now, that's so simple isn't it?

Goodnight everyone. Hope my post ain't too long for you. :)