Change is the only constant.

If there's one thing I learnt from studying overseas, it's how change is the only constant and change is taking place at a speed so fast I couldn't even catch up with it. I'd always be lagging behind, still thinking over why things change, people change, and very often I'll be so overwhelmed and bewildered I have to stay at home a couple of days or even a week to sort out and pack up my feelings.

I'd always receive special treatments when I get back: friends putting aside their school work, accommodating to my schedule, trying to book me for a meal or two just to catch up with me. Sometimes I get small gifts to show how much I'm missed, even changes in profile pic to one that includes me will tug at my heartstrings a little. But very often than not, when I get back, things change. 

While most of my friends always still continue to text me and show me their concern and love whenever they sense something wrong, there'll always be one or two people who'd change their whole attitude towards me. Is it because that I'm no longer in Singapore that there's no longer a need or obligation to continue how they've treated me in Singapore, or is it because I appear to them as a dispensable friend that when they need my companion, they just have to ring me up. But when I'm back in Melb, I can no longer serve that purpose and there's no reason to keep in contact with me. 

Sad thing is, people come and go, and they come and go even faster when I'm overseas, miles away. Long distance, I thought, would have worked for friendship like how it enhanced my relationship with my family. Apparently not. While I grew closer to some friends, made new ones here and they became my family whom I could depend on, there are always a bunch of people who'd show their true colors. I don't know if it's a good thing or not, that I know sooner rather than later what their true intentions are. But I guess I'd rather live in denial and be oblivious to what's really going on. Because the truth hurts, and while I thought these people matter and hold them close to my heart, they're the ones who will hurt me the most. You know how people you treasure the most will have the most impact on your life no matter how small the issue is, or how harsh words could appear as a dagger that makes it hurt so badly as compared to an acquaintance who say the same few words.

The worst thing that could happen, is for a bad situation to happen twice. & having me allowing it to happen. I don't know how to deal with a second injury right at the same spot caused by the same person, but I guess I'll get through it sooner or later. 

As for now, I have no idea who to trust, or how to judge people. Because the human heart and mind is so unpredictable, that I am so jaded from trying to figure out everyone's thoughts. Sadly this world doesn't operate as simple as I want it to, and if only someone would just tell me their true inner thoughts and put a stop to all these guessing.